...to even care at all. I'm losing my mind, losing my mind, losing control. Whoah-oh ♫

Right now...I feel like drowning myself in cough syrup as well. Of course I wont do it, just figuratively speaking.

I am unhappy. But today, after talking to a good friend...and him saying:

"...anyway, kat, take it easy
you just force yourself
and know you feel so tired with it
i dont know what is a good answer for you because i dont know what you really want...
....that's why we need to find it but it is surely not something you need to force yourself to do."

It made me feel relieved. I must admit...I got a bit teary lol.
Sometimes...just having someone there to cheer you up...is way better than being in a relationship. Just having someone who will listen to you and cheer you on.

This conversation...I realized, I depend on my friends more than my lover. Maybe a bit too much. Reason?
Because they are more dependable, I know they will be on my side, and I know we have each other's backs...
I constantly have issues with my lovers...whom I will talk to my friends about for advice or venting purposes. Even if I confront my lover on issues I have with them...nothing will happen. No advice or anything. Maybe they will be resolved for a week...and then they will go back to normal.

You can't change a person. You can maybe influence someone. BUT...ultimately the person will change if he/she decides to for themselves.

I have many questions about the one I'm with. I always do. I know something is probably wrong with me...but maybe...as simple and sad as it sounds...maybe...it's just not meant to be.

Everything has an expiration date...
*(even Twinkies believe it or not! I mean c'mon...NOW they don't exist do they? :P )