The other day in Blog Land...

I noticed he deleted his...I noticed he turned his FB back on...
I blocked him. I was already sad that I can't go back and look at the past with him.
I know I'm selfish. I know I'm greedy. I know I shouldn't...
But he disappeared without me realizing that he did.
If I could go back in the past...I would totally slap myself in the face.
Although I have many regrets...there's nothing to do but just move on...

Today...I had to go to where he would be.
I hoped that I wouldn't run into him...
Or...
I hoped that he would see me.

At the end...I saw the back of him. I was reading and I looked up.

This is reality. I'm here. Sitting. Dwelling.
He's there. Walking swiftly to his destination.
I'm watching him move on.
He's not looking back.

Reality.

Of course I didn't go after him. There's someone else in my life as well. Someone who depends on me.
...someone who I can't depend on back...

Today...I tried talking to him, the one who is dependent on me. Our conversation was short. As always.
Of course I didn't tell him...I was trying to open up to what had happened...but no response. Nothing.
I thought maybe I will talk to him later tonight...He usually comes later...Not this time.

Reality. I guess this is life's way of saying that you need to get stronger. Get up and move on as well.
I understand...I am moving on...I am recognizing my errors...Especially with this one.
I'm done with dealing with the past.
I'm now dealing with the present.

How unfair...for him (the past) to be happy and not me.
I will be happy. Not because of him, but because of everyone around me.

Tonight...I will be surrounded by friends. I am very thankful for that :)

Labels: personal, relationships